Blend
by Submissiontothecrazies
Summary: Well I really do suck at summaries so just a few warnings! SEX, YAOI  No like no read!, CUSSING, and minor BLOOD/VIOLENCE! It is still in the process so I haven't hit some of the warnings yet,but for future references!


**SOOOOO, Grimmkitty and Ulquibat are my most favorite couple and I've read plenty of fanfics about them so I thought it was about damn time I contributed to GrimmxUlqui stories! I hope everyone enjoys and please review even if it's criticism (it will help me!). Thank you if you read it and I'm going to try and add a chapter 2 soon or just continue to add to chapter 1! VOILA!**

What is it like to feel emotion, the type of that makes your heart break, flutter, or sing? How is one born to know the variety for such a display? I was never graced with such a skill, until I met him. My black and white demeanor provokes no such feelings but his cerulean eyes with that wild glint could turn me into a being with such a range of expressions. Skimming the surface just waiting to burst forth!

Which feelings? I've long wondered this. Which feelings should I express around him? Awe? Excitement? Love? How could I possibly portray such taboo emotions? Would he laugh or just stare in shock? Or maybe I should feign indifference?

I've always shown him that but I want to change! Indifference is acceptable for anyone but him. I need to show him I've changed; but my resemblance to desperate fool heedlessly in love would most certainly deter him. But I know him better than I am with myself. Yes, his allure is a bonus but it's his charisma, character and his temper that flare my mind with impure thoughts. Oh! I wish to embrace him as I have in so many of my fairy tale dreams! Why can I not express this to him?

But, why moon over him if it doesn't make a difference, does it? He'll never notice me. There is nothing I can offer him. I'm unattractive, quiet and when I do speak to him it's accompanied with that demeaning tone, always putting him down with my utterances of "trash" and "worthless". I wish he would notice me though, just once. The longing I feel for him is so strong but my understanding of it is incomplete.

I have never felt as lost in myself; for my assurance of my skills has always been certain and now this. This emotion . . . "thing" is new to me and if he ever did spot the way I stare for just a few too many seconds or how we always wonder into the same area of such a large and expansive building. . . if he ever did, even once! But he won't, because he's beautiful and has so many that would sell themselves just to feel the breath escaping his lips.

Oh! Even the sound of his name sends ripples across my translucent skin. Grimmjow. So. . . . . . exotic.

Many nights ago he brushed up against me in the one of the corridors. He was drunk and could hardly keep himself standing. My eyes grew large as saucers when he slumped over onto me and then the wall. Sliding slowly down the white surface, I became concerned with his well being. So I approached his face to check his pupils. As I opened his eyelid, the muscles beneath my fingertips contracted; his eyes lazily opened to meet me own.

I was so startled with his closeness that I attempted to flee, however the grip he held onto me intensified. His eyelids began to droop slightly and I believed him to slip into unconsciousness again as the relief was evident on my static features. I backed away slowly as to not awaken him.

I entered my lonely hallway and then approached my door painted with the numeral that defines my self. I could still feel his breath on my cheeks and the strong smell of alcohol tinged with blood invading my senses. It was intoxicating. I wanted it! I wanted him! Why can I not express these feelings is so puzzling! He is all I think about, all damn day and all throughout the nights. My frustration has mounted so high I can hardly function as an espada along with my duties assigned to me. His entire person occupies my mind.

My pants are tented. Why does he torture me like this? Even my body reacts to thoughts of him when I command it to cease!

Unsure of really what to do, I decided just this one night to expose my desires and confront them. I began to undo my hakama slowly, as it connected with the floor, the chilled air made me hiss as my hot flesh was exposed. I stroked my length as Grimmjow's name became a long drawn out moan on my tongue that surely would have been heard if the corridor wasn't explicitly mine.

I began to speed up as images of Grimmjow kissing up my neck and suckling every inch of my skin began to blur my vision. Even as I rubbed the skin raw and I thrashed on the bed trying to conjure my fantasy, I pictured him pushing my wet hair out of my face just to kiss my forehead in a loving manor. Something a lover would do. All I wanted was him and I became deluded to believing that it was him that was stroking me faster and harder still kissing and licking up onto my collarbone.

I came. It wracked my body with spasms, it was so strong. I was covered in a thin film of sweat with my sheets soaked with my bodily fluids. I continued to milk my length for the last few drops of pleasure with my short pants slowly easing back into my familiar breaths. It occurred to me that these feelings were coming from him and I would do anything for the real thing.

After that night his occupancy in my mind was permanent.


End file.
